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Enter the Bard

My’ra and Din tapped their mugs of ale together.

“To a new adventure!” said My’ra.

“To the last of our coin,” muttered Din.

As the two friends drank away the last of their ill-gotten loot, a sudden hush fell over the crowd. The tavern lights dimmed except for single light source at the end of the room, perfectly illuminating a halfling in a floppy hat standing atop an old crate as if it were a stage.

“Ladies and Gentlemen,” began the halfling, “you have the very rare privilege of being serenaded by me, the great and talented Uveda Swiftwhistle, this very night. Feast your eyes, open your ears, and prepare to hear tales that will touch your imagination and bring both laughter and tears to your poor depraved souls.”

He twanged a few strings of his lute and then began to recite:

There was a lad from Durrow Ditch
Who claimed he’d fought a famous witch
Splashed her with water
Then ran off with her daughter
Who turned out to be an even bigger B–

A miniature bard character playing a lute in a tavern.

“He’s amazing!” cheered My’ra.

“He’s using a charm spell,” said Din.

“Perfect,” said My’ra. “Let’s recruit him.”

3 tabletop miniatures:  a dark elf with an eye patch, a halfling playing a lute, and an orc with a club.

Being also low on funds, the little halfling was more than happy to join the two adventurers in their pursuit of finding more drinking money. And maybe rescuing a peasant or two (but only if there was a reward).

“This is going to be great!” gushed My’ra. “Now we’ll have a bard to, you know, do bard things.”

“Which involves what, exactly?” asked a still skeptical Din.

“Hey now,” said Uveda. “I possess a great number of skills that any adventuring party would be lucky to have. Why I…”

As Uveda listed such useful skills as lute playing and seducing governors’ daughters, My’ra and Din talked over his halfling head.

“I think bards can heal people,” suggested My’ra. “Or maybe they do magic.”

“You can do both those things,” pointed out Din. “Only without the lute, so it’s much less annoying.”

As the two debated the usefulness of their new traveling companion, they suddenly realized that he hadn’t spoken in some time. It was then that they understood what a bard truly adds to the group.

2 dungeon and dragons miniatures:  a dark elf with an eye patch and a half orc dressed in leather armor.

They go down first, and no one really notices.

My’ra and Din painted by Book of the Dead.
Twitter: @bugg_bill
Instagram: @botdpainting

Uveda and crate painted by Simon’s Magic Shoppe.

My’ra and Din STL Files from
Uveda designed using

All figures printed by Simon’s Magic Shoppe.

My’ra and Din need gold for adventuring. Help them out on Patreon.

About the Author

Audrey Hawkes

I paint little figures and play Dungeons and Dragons. I also manage the website and most of the business tasks at

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